Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, Instagram, Tumblr…we have so many ways to stay in touch with people, to make connections with people we may never have had the chance to meet in our day to day lives. We log into our favourite social media accounts anxious to see what everyone has to say, has to say to you. You go back time and time again; just to check in, but in reality, you are just hoping that someone has engaged you in some way. It is the modern day equivalent of going back to the refrigerator, opening the door to see there is nothing in it and walking away. Only to come back 10 minutes later…just in case.
I have friends that are divorced, really divorced. They complain about how much they miss sex. Not just the act itself, the cuddling, the kissing, the touching. Really? See, because when you were married, the LAST THING you wanted was for your soon-to-be ex to touch you. Months went by and you were HAPPY not to be touched, held, kissed by that person, let alone have sex with them. The idea disgusted and horrified you. So, I am thinking you do not miss SEX so much as you miss having a connection with someone. A connection so intense, that it has to be expressed physically. The truth is, pretty much anybody, certainly any woman, could go out and find someone willing to have sex with them. There are lots of men looking for just that. Sex without commitment; without the headaches that accompany having a connection with someone. No, you do not miss sex. You miss desire. You miss fun. You miss wanting. You miss what it means to be ALIVE.
So, you keep going to your social media accounts, log in and hope that someone is there that wants to connect with you. You keep checking back time and time again; opening that refrigerator door, only to be greeted by the same emptiness you found last time. That’s what happens when you are stuck in an empty marriage, one that is dead, but refuses to die. Your refrigerator is empty and if you never go out into the world to find something to fill it with, you will die of starvation. Starvation from lack of food, or lack of love is still starvation. They both have the same outcome…